Yung Goof - I Got a Hemorrhoid Lyrics

Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch
Guess what? I got a hemorrhoid
Ooh, I got a hemorrhoid
It hurts when I cough (Cough)
I flinch when I fart (Pfft)
I cry when I poo (Waa)
Oh, what will I do? (Yeah)
Can't ride my bike (No)
It feels like a knife (Woah)
My butthole is destroyed
God damn it, I got a hemorrhoid
I named it Carl, but damn it, I hate him
Carl's a bitch because my ass is aching
Making me sweat and I'm losing my patience
While Carl is laughing inside of my anus
It feels like my asshole was shot
By a bazooka, blew my shit up
Sore bum, my stomach's in knots
I can't run, I limp when I walk
Oh no, uh oh, my butthole is f*cked so
I cannot stop crying when I have to go and unload
My butt jeez, I hate this little bump
I can only hope that I don't get the runs
Cause if I get the runs (Squeak) I would be done
Poop would shoot like a gun, it would burn like the sun
This ain't no game, this is pain, it's demoralizing
This ain't okay spent four days on the toilet crying (Boo hoo hoo)
It hurts when I cough (Cough)
I flinch when I fart (Pfft)
I cry when I poo (Waa)
Oh, what will I do? (Yeah)
Can't ride my bike (No)
It feels like a knife (Woah)
My butthole is destroyed
God damn it, I got a hemorrhoid
Oh no, it's that time of year
The time for my prostate exam is finally here
I can't reschedule, I already paid the copay
Thinking bout a finger in my butt, there's just no way
But I ain't no bitch, so I waddle inside
Doc said pants off, bend over, spread 'em wide
I'm sweating bullets, this is worse than pooping
I asked him to be gentle, he said"Sorry can't do it"
As soon as the finger went in, I screamed in agony
Both of the doctor and Carl just laughed at me
Doc said"I think I know why you didn't enjoy
From the looks of it, I think you have a hemorrhoid" (No shit)
It hurts when I cough (Cough)
I flinch when I fart (Pfft)
I cry when I poo (Waa)
Oh, what will I do? (Yeah)
Can't ride my bike (No)
It feels like a knife (Woah)
My butthole is destroyed
God damn it, I got a hemorrhoid