Double Feature: Spine Video (MV)

What'll it take to pull me out of this slump
It feels like every time I try to climb out it's deeper than I thought
I f*cked around too much, now things are harder than they should be
I should be picking up the pieces but I am f*cking lazy
How did come to this
Why am I such a piece of shit
I have people who stand by me no matter what
But I push them away when I ask for help and they show up
Cuz deep inside I think I like being miserable
That's why I always torture myself and be antisocial
When will I finally grow a spine and stop hurting everyone I like