We all know of Rudolph and his shining nose
And we all know Frosty who's made out of snow
But all of those stories seem kind of... gay
`Cause we all know who brightens up our holiday
Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
Small and brown he comes from you
Sit on the toilet here he comes
Squeeze him 'tween your festive buns
A present from down below
Spreading joy with a "Howdy-Ho!"
He's seen the love inside of you
`Cause he's a piece of poo
Sometimes he's nutty
Sometimes he's corny
He can be brown or greenish brown
(Mmmmhmmm!)
But if you eat fiber on Christmas eve
He might come to your town!
Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
He loves me, I love you
Therefore, vicariously he loves you!
I can make a Mr. Hankey too! (Pffffft)
Cartman: Well Kyle where is he?
Kyle: Ehh .. He's coming!
Stan: Come on dude, push!
Kyle: Ehhhh... I'm Trying!
Cartman: Wait, wait I can see his head!
Kyle: Here he comes!
[POP!]
Mr. Hankey: Howdy Ho!
I'm Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
Seasons Greetings to all of you!
Let's sing songs and dance and play
Now before I melt away.
Here's a game I like to play
Stick me in your mouth and try to say
Howdy ho ho yum yum yum
Christmas Time has come!
Singers: Sometimes He's runny
Sometimes he's firm
Sometimes he practically water.
Sometimes he hangs off the end of your ass
And wont fall in the toilet
'Cause he's just clinging to your sphincter
And he wont drop off .. and so you shake your ass around
And try to get it to drop in the toilet and finally it does.
Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
When Christmas leaves he must leave too.
Flush him down but he's never gone
His smell and his spirit linger on.
Howdy Ho!
South Park: Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics Soundtrack Album Lyrics
South Park: Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics Soundtrack Lyrics
- Cowboy Timmy - Mr. Hankey The Christmas Poo
- Mr Garrison - Merry F*cking Christmas
- Eric Cartman - O Holy Night
- Juan Schwartz - Dead, Dead, Dead (Someday We'll All Be)
- Mr Mackey - Carol Of The Bells
- Kyle Broflofski - The Lonely Jew on Christmas
- Shelly Marsh - I Saw Three Ships
- Stan Marsh - It Happened in Sun Valley
- Trey Parker - O Tannenbaum
- Trey Parker - Christmastime in Hell
- Isaac Hayes - What the Hell Child is This?
- Mr Hankey - Santa Claus is on His Way
- Eric Cartman - Swiss Colony Beef Log
- South Park Childrens Choir - Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
- The Broflofskis - Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel
- Kenny McCormick - The Most Offensive Song Ever
- Mr Ose - We Three Kings
- Mr Hankey - Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
Merry F*cking Christmas
by Mr Garrison
Merry F*cking Christmas - Mr Garrison
I heard there is no Christmas
In the silly Middle East
No trees, no snow, so Santa Claus,
They have different religious beliefs
They believe in Muhammed, and not in our holiday,
And so every December I go to the Middle East and say
Hey there Mr Muslim, Merry F*cking Christmas
Put down that book, the Koran,
And here's some holiday wishes.
In case you haven't noticed it's Jesus' birthday
So get off your heathen Muslim ass and f*cking celebrate
There is no holiday season in India, I've heard
They don't hang up their stockings, and that is just absurd
They've never read a Christmas story,
They don't know what Rudolph is about.
And that is why in December I'll go to India and shout
Hey there Mr Hinduist, Merry F*cking Christmas
Drink Egg Nog and eat some Beef and pass it to the Missus
In case you haven't noticed it's Jesus' birthday
So get off your heathen Hindu ass and f*cking celebrate
Now I heard that in Japan everyone just lives in sin
They pray to several Gods, and put needles in their skin
On December 25th, all they do is eat a cake
And that is why I go to Japan, and walk around and say
Hey there Mr Shintoist, Merry F*cking Christmas
God is going to kick your ass you infidelic Pagan scum
In case you haven't noticed, there's festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus, Merry F*cking Christmas to you
On Christmas day,
I travel 'round the world and say
To all you Christians, Buddhists, and all you Atheists too
Merry F*cking Christmas to you
Thank you Mr Hat
I heard there is no Christmas
In the silly Middle East
No trees, no snow, so Santa Claus,
They have different religious beliefs
They believe in Muhammed, and not in our holiday,
And so every December I go to the Middle East and say
Hey there Mr Muslim, Merry F*cking Christmas
Put down that book, the Koran,
And here's some holiday wishes.
In case you haven't noticed it's Jesus' birthday
So get off your heathen Muslim ass and f*cking celebrate
There is no holiday season in India, I've heard
They don't hang up their stockings, and that is just absurd
They've never read a Christmas story,
They don't know what Rudolph is about.
And that is why in December I'll go to India and shout
Hey there Mr Hinduist, Merry F*cking Christmas
Drink Egg Nog and eat some Beef and pass it to the Missus
In case you haven't noticed it's Jesus' birthday
So get off your heathen Hindu ass and f*cking celebrate
Now I heard that in Japan everyone just lives in sin
They pray to several Gods, and put needles in their skin
On December 25th, all they do is eat a cake
And that is why I go to Japan, and walk around and say
Hey there Mr Shintoist, Merry F*cking Christmas
God is going to kick your ass you infidelic Pagan scum
In case you haven't noticed, there's festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus, Merry F*cking Christmas to you
On Christmas day,
I travel 'round the world and say
To all you Christians, Buddhists, and all you Atheists too
Merry F*cking Christmas to you
Thank you Mr Hat
Writer: PARKER
Copyright: Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Copyright: Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
O Holy Night
by Eric Cartman
Cartman: And, O holy night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of our dear Savior's b-b-b-birth.
O holy night! The something something distant
It is the night with the Christmas trees and pie.
Jesus was born and so I get presents.
Thank you, Jesus for being born.
(Whooo-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Fall
(Fa-a-a-a-alllll)
On your knees!
(On your knees)
And, hear
(Can't you heaaar)
The angel's... something
(Voices!)
O night
(O night!)
Divine
(Divine!)
The night when I get presents;
(O-o-o)
O night
(O night!)
Beeef-caaakkkeee, O night;
O night devine!
Ehh.. chmm
It is the night of our dear Savior's b-b-b-birth.
O holy night! The something something distant
It is the night with the Christmas trees and pie.
Jesus was born and so I get presents.
Thank you, Jesus for being born.
(Whooo-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Fall
(Fa-a-a-a-alllll)
On your knees!
(On your knees)
And, hear
(Can't you heaaar)
The angel's... something
(Voices!)
O night
(O night!)
Divine
(Divine!)
The night when I get presents;
(O-o-o)
O night
(O night!)
Beeef-caaakkkeee, O night;
O night devine!
Ehh.. chmm
Writer: Trey Parker, DP
Copyright: Lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Universal Music Publishing Group
Copyright: Lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Universal Music Publishing Group
Dead, Dead, Dead (Someday We'll All Be)
by Juan Schwartz
[ Featuring The South Park Child ]
Juan: Dead, Dead, Dead
Someday you'll be dead.
Dead, Dead, Dead
Someday we'll all be dead.
The minute we're born we start dying
We die a little more every day
Young or old Rich or poor
There's nothing we can do to stop it
So look long at that Christmas tree
It may be the last one that you see.
Decorate your house in green and red
`Cause someday you'll be dead.
Dead, Dead, Dead
Someday you'll be dead
Dead, Dead, Dead
Someday we'll all be dead
It might happen in a couple months
Or 50 years from now
But no matter when it happens
It will seem too soon to you.
So be sure on Christmas Eve
When you snuggle into bed
That you thank God for your family
`Cause someday they'll be dead.
Dead, Dead, Dead
Someday they'll be dead
Dead, Dead, Dead
Someday we'll all be dead
Choir: Ah-ah!
Juan: Who knows how many Christmases are left in their short life?
Nobody knows, that my point,
Enjoy them while you can.
And so on Christmas morning
Let good tidings fill your head.
What a festive season
Someday you'll be dead.
Dead, Dead, Dead
Someday we'll be dead
Dead, Dead, Dead
Everyone you know, dead
A Very Merry Christmas to you
Dead, Dead, Dead.
Choir: Merry Christmas Everybody
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
Carol Of The Bells
by Mr Mackey
Mr. Mackey: Uh, Hark! hear the bells
Sweet silver bells
All seem to say,
"Ding Dong Mmmkay."
Christmas is here
Bringing good cheer
To young and old
Meek and the bold
Ding, dong, ding, dong
That is their song
With joyful ring (mmmkay)
All caroling
One seems to hear
Words of good cheer
From everywhere
Filling the air (mmmkay)
O, how they pound
Raising their sound
Or' Here and There
Telling their Tail
Gaily they ring
While people sing (mmmkay)
Songs of good cheer (mmmkay)
Christmas is here
Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas
Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas
On, on they send
On without end
Their joyful tone
To every home (mmmkay)
Hark! Hear the bells
Sweet silver bells
All seem to say,
"Ding Dong Mmmkay."
On, on they send (mmmkay)
On without end
Their joyful tone (mmmkay)
To every home
Ding dong ding dong .. mmmkay
Mmmkay
Sweet silver bells
All seem to say,
"Ding Dong Mmmkay."
Christmas is here
Bringing good cheer
To young and old
Meek and the bold
Ding, dong, ding, dong
That is their song
With joyful ring (mmmkay)
All caroling
One seems to hear
Words of good cheer
From everywhere
Filling the air (mmmkay)
O, how they pound
Raising their sound
Or' Here and There
Telling their Tail
Gaily they ring
While people sing (mmmkay)
Songs of good cheer (mmmkay)
Christmas is here
Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas
Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas
On, on they send
On without end
Their joyful tone
To every home (mmmkay)
Hark! Hear the bells
Sweet silver bells
All seem to say,
"Ding Dong Mmmkay."
On, on they send (mmmkay)
On without end
Their joyful tone (mmmkay)
To every home
Ding dong ding dong .. mmmkay
Mmmkay
Writer: Mykola Leontovych
Copyright: Lyrics © Public Domain
Copyright: Lyrics © Public Domain
The Lonely Jew on Christmas
by Kyle Broflofski
[ Featuring Special Celebrity ]
Kyle: It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas.
My friends wont let me join in any games.
And I cant sing Christmas songs
Or decorate a Christmas tree
Or leave water out for Rudolph
`Cause there's something wrong with me.
My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity.
I'm a Jew,
A lonely Jew
On Christmas.
Hanukkah is nice but why is it
That Santa passes over my house every year?
And instead of eating ham I have to eat kosher latkes
Instead of Silent Night I'm singing
Hoo Hact Toh Gaveesh
And what the f*ck is up with lighting all these
F*cking candles please?
I'm a Jew,
A lonely Jew
I can't be merry
`Cause I'm Hebrew
On Christmas.
Celebrity Guest: Hey little boy I couldn't help but hear
Your feeling left out of Christmas cheer
And I've come to say that you shouldn't be sad
This is the one month you should be glad
`Cause its nice to be a Jew on Christmas.
You don't have to deal with the season at all.
You don't have to be on your best behavior or give to charity.
You don't have to have to go to grandma's house with your alcoholic family.
Kyle: And I don't have to sit on some fake Santa's lap
And have him breath is stinky breath on me.
Celebrity Guest: That's right, your a Jew!
Kyle: A styling Jew!
Together: Its a good time to be Hebrew,
On Christmas...
Celebrity Guest: On Christmas
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
I Saw Three Ships
by Shelly Marsh
Shelley: I saw three ships come sailing in, on Christmas Day, on Christmas Day.
< I saw three ships come sailing in, on Christmas Day in the morning.
And what was in the ships all three, on Christmas Day, on Christmas Day.
Boys: [Laughter]
Shelley: Shut up, turds!
And what was in the ships all three, on Christmas Day in the morning?
The Virgin Mary and Christ were there, on Christmas Day, on Christmas Day.
Boys: [Laughter]
Shelley: The Virgin Mary and-
Shut up, turds!
- and Christ were there, on Christmas Day in the morning.
Let us all rejoice amain On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day.
Boys: [Laughter Growing]
Shelley: Let us all-
I told you to shut up!
-rejoice amain On Christmas Day in the morning.
Shelly is starting to get pissed, on Christmas Day, on Christmas Day.
Boys: [Nonstop Laughter]
Shelley: Shelly got up and killed the turds, on Christmas Day, in the morning. Arrrrrrrgh!
[Crash}
< I saw three ships come sailing in, on Christmas Day in the morning.
And what was in the ships all three, on Christmas Day, on Christmas Day.
Boys: [Laughter]
Shelley: Shut up, turds!
And what was in the ships all three, on Christmas Day in the morning?
The Virgin Mary and Christ were there, on Christmas Day, on Christmas Day.
Boys: [Laughter]
Shelley: The Virgin Mary and-
Shut up, turds!
- and Christ were there, on Christmas Day in the morning.
Let us all rejoice amain On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day.
Boys: [Laughter Growing]
Shelley: Let us all-
I told you to shut up!
-rejoice amain On Christmas Day in the morning.
Shelly is starting to get pissed, on Christmas Day, on Christmas Day.
Boys: [Nonstop Laughter]
Shelley: Shelly got up and killed the turds, on Christmas Day, in the morning. Arrrrrrrgh!
[Crash}
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
It Happened in Sun Valley
by Stan Marsh
[ Featuring Wendy Testaburger ]
Stan: Howdy folks, lets go for a ride.
Get your favorite one to sit by your side.
Cuddle up in the sleigh,
Giddy up Nellie Gray!
And away we go!
Wendy: While you're listening to the sleigh bells ring
You're yodeling to your bay-be.
You'll feel nice and warm
No matter how cold it may be!
Stan: Take a look at little Jack and Jill
They ski down a hill
There's a snow plow turn
Look there's a spill
There's a spill on the hill
When you're down it's a thrill
To get up again.
Together: Everybody ought to learn to ski
'Cause that's how we first met.
Wendy: We were that Jack and Jill
That came down a hill
Stan: When I looked at you
My heart took a spill
Wendy: Took a spill on a hill
Stan: It's a thrill...
Together: ..that I can forget.
It happened in Sun Valley
Not so very long ago
Stan: There were sunbeams in the snow
And a twinkle in your eye
Wendy: I remember, oh so clearly
That you nearly passed me by
Together: Then it happened in Sun Valley
When you slipped and fell and so did I!
Wendy: Catch me Stan!
Stan: [BARF]
Wendy: Ewwww!
Look, Stan! I made a snow angel.
Stan: [BARF]
Wendy: Ewwww!
Together: I remember oh so clearly
That you nearly Passed me by
Then it happened in Sun Valley
When you tripped and fell and so did I
Stan: Now every year we go back and then
Wendy: We recall that fall and that moment when
Stan: We were there on the hill
Together: So we both take a spill
And we're Jack and Jill... again.
Wendy: [KISS]
Stan: [BARF]
Wendy: Ewwww!
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
O Tannenbaum
by Trey Parker
Hitler: O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
Wie gran sind deine Blutter!
O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
Wie gran sind deine Blutter!
Du granst nich nur zur Sommerzeit,
Nein auch im Winter, wenn es schneit;
O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
Wie gran sind deine...
[Weeping]
Satan: Hey Hitler, what's the matter little guy?
Hitler: Oh, Satan! O Tannenbaum wie gran sind deine Blutter!
Satan: Oh, you don't have a Christmas tree?
Hitler: Nin
Wie gran sind deine Blutter!
O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
Wie gran sind deine Blutter!
Du granst nich nur zur Sommerzeit,
Nein auch im Winter, wenn es schneit;
O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
Wie gran sind deine...
[Weeping]
Satan: Hey Hitler, what's the matter little guy?
Hitler: Oh, Satan! O Tannenbaum wie gran sind deine Blutter!
Satan: Oh, you don't have a Christmas tree?
Hitler: Nin
Writer: Ernst Anschutz
Copyright: Lyrics © RAOUL BRETON EDITIONS, Histoire et Chansons, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Copyright: Lyrics © RAOUL BRETON EDITIONS, Histoire et Chansons, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Christmastime in Hell
by Trey Parker
Satan: Well I tell you what,
Maybe we'll have ourselves a little Christmas, right here.
C'mon everyone, gather `round!
String up the lights and light up the tree
We're going to make some revelry
Spirits are high, so I can tell
It's Christmas time in hell!
Demons are nicer as you pass them by
There's lots of demon toys to buy
The snow is falling and all is well
It's Christmas time in hell!
There goes Jeffery Dahmer,
With a festive Christmas ham
After he has sex with it,
He'll eat up all he can.
And there goes John F. Kennedy
Caroling with his son
Reunited for the holidays
God bless us, everyone!
Everybody has a happy glow
Let's dance in blood and pretend its snow
Even Mao Tse-Tung is under the spell
It's Christmas time in hell!
Adolf, here's a present for you.
Hitler: Oh? O Tannenbaum!
Satan: Yes, O Tannenbaum!
God cast me down from Heaven's door
To rule in hell for evermore
But now I'm kinda glad that I fell
'Cause It's Christmas time in hell!
Here's a rack to hang the stockings on
We still have to shop for Genghis Kahn!
Michael Landon's hair looks swell!
It's Christmas time in hell!
There's Princess Diana
Holding burning mistletoe
Over poor Gene Siskel's head
Just watch his weenie grow!
For one day we all stop burning
And the flames are not so thick
All the screaming and the torture stops
As we wait for old Saint Nick!
So string up the lights and light up the tree
We're damned for all eternity
But for just one day all is well
It's Christmas time in hell!
We've got to toast together, and make it quick!
We've gotta make room for Andy Dick.
Wake his mother and ring the bell
It's Christmas time...
(Christmas time... Christmas time... Christmas time...)
Christmas time...
(Christmas time... Christmas time... Christmas time...)
It's Christmas time in hell!
Merry Christmas Rooming House!
Maybe we'll have ourselves a little Christmas, right here.
C'mon everyone, gather `round!
String up the lights and light up the tree
We're going to make some revelry
Spirits are high, so I can tell
It's Christmas time in hell!
Demons are nicer as you pass them by
There's lots of demon toys to buy
The snow is falling and all is well
It's Christmas time in hell!
There goes Jeffery Dahmer,
With a festive Christmas ham
After he has sex with it,
He'll eat up all he can.
And there goes John F. Kennedy
Caroling with his son
Reunited for the holidays
God bless us, everyone!
Everybody has a happy glow
Let's dance in blood and pretend its snow
Even Mao Tse-Tung is under the spell
It's Christmas time in hell!
Adolf, here's a present for you.
Hitler: Oh? O Tannenbaum!
Satan: Yes, O Tannenbaum!
God cast me down from Heaven's door
To rule in hell for evermore
But now I'm kinda glad that I fell
'Cause It's Christmas time in hell!
Here's a rack to hang the stockings on
We still have to shop for Genghis Kahn!
Michael Landon's hair looks swell!
It's Christmas time in hell!
There's Princess Diana
Holding burning mistletoe
Over poor Gene Siskel's head
Just watch his weenie grow!
For one day we all stop burning
And the flames are not so thick
All the screaming and the torture stops
As we wait for old Saint Nick!
So string up the lights and light up the tree
We're damned for all eternity
But for just one day all is well
It's Christmas time in hell!
We've got to toast together, and make it quick!
We've gotta make room for Andy Dick.
Wake his mother and ring the bell
It's Christmas time...
(Christmas time... Christmas time... Christmas time...)
Christmas time...
(Christmas time... Christmas time... Christmas time...)
It's Christmas time in hell!
Merry Christmas Rooming House!
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
What the Hell Child is This?
by Isaac Hayes
Chef: Baby, you know there's a lot of love between us
Sometimes that love goes bad
But other times its so right!
Yeah, I know we've been through some rough waters
But most of the time our thing is off the hook!
I just want to know one thing...
What child is this
You've laid to rest
At my feet
This is not the time.
I know that I'm not responsible
It's white so it cannot be mine.
No, this, this is Christ the King.
With a feeling of relief
I cannot sing.
Haste, haste to bring him laud
The Babe, the Son of Mary.
Mmmmm, Son of Mary!
(Son of Mary)
Little bitty baby!
(Mary)
So, bring him incense, gold, and myrrh
Come peasant king to own Him.
The King of kings, salvation brings,
Let loving hearts enthrone Him.
Raise, raise the song on high
The Virgin sings her lullaby.
Joy, joy, for Christ is born
The Babe, the Son of Mary.
Son of Mary
(Son of Mary)
Little bitty baby
(Little bitty baby, yeah)
I'm gonna lay you down by the yule log
I'm gonna gonna love you right.
Baby, I'm gonna deck your halls
And silent your night!
You'll hear the herald angels sing
When I'm sliding off your bra.
I just can't wait to jingle your bells
And fa la la your la!
(Fa la la your la)
This, this is Christmas Day
A time for lovers to celebrate.
I'm gonna ding dong you merrily on high
Because this is the season for giving!
(Give it to me baby, give it to me baby)
...Season for giving
(Season for giving, give me love!)
...Season for living
(Season for living, give me love!)
...Season for giving
(Season for giving)
...Giving you love
(Give me love!)
...Giving you good love
(Season for good love!)
...Whole lotta love
(Give me love!)
...Making love
(Season for giving)
...By the fire
(Give me love!)
...Whole lotta love
(Season for good love)
...By the fire
(Give me love!)
...Don't need no mistletoe
(Season for giving)
...You've got toes
(Give me love!)
...Whole lotta loving
(Season for good love!)
...Love
(Give me love!)
...Jingle bells
(Season for giving, give me love!
...Fa la la your la.
(Season for good love, give me love!)
Sometimes that love goes bad
But other times its so right!
Yeah, I know we've been through some rough waters
But most of the time our thing is off the hook!
I just want to know one thing...
What child is this
You've laid to rest
At my feet
This is not the time.
I know that I'm not responsible
It's white so it cannot be mine.
No, this, this is Christ the King.
With a feeling of relief
I cannot sing.
Haste, haste to bring him laud
The Babe, the Son of Mary.
Mmmmm, Son of Mary!
(Son of Mary)
Little bitty baby!
(Mary)
So, bring him incense, gold, and myrrh
Come peasant king to own Him.
The King of kings, salvation brings,
Let loving hearts enthrone Him.
Raise, raise the song on high
The Virgin sings her lullaby.
Joy, joy, for Christ is born
The Babe, the Son of Mary.
Son of Mary
(Son of Mary)
Little bitty baby
(Little bitty baby, yeah)
I'm gonna lay you down by the yule log
I'm gonna gonna love you right.
Baby, I'm gonna deck your halls
And silent your night!
You'll hear the herald angels sing
When I'm sliding off your bra.
I just can't wait to jingle your bells
And fa la la your la!
(Fa la la your la)
This, this is Christmas Day
A time for lovers to celebrate.
I'm gonna ding dong you merrily on high
Because this is the season for giving!
(Give it to me baby, give it to me baby)
...Season for giving
(Season for giving, give me love!)
...Season for living
(Season for living, give me love!)
...Season for giving
(Season for giving)
...Giving you love
(Give me love!)
...Giving you good love
(Season for good love!)
...Whole lotta love
(Give me love!)
...Making love
(Season for giving)
...By the fire
(Give me love!)
...Whole lotta love
(Season for good love)
...By the fire
(Give me love!)
...Don't need no mistletoe
(Season for giving)
...You've got toes
(Give me love!)
...Whole lotta loving
(Season for good love!)
...Love
(Give me love!)
...Jingle bells
(Season for giving, give me love!
...Fa la la your la.
(Season for good love, give me love!)
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
Santa Claus is on His Way
by Mr Hankey
[ Featuring Kyle ]
Mr. Hankey: Santa Claus is on his way
He's loaded goodies on his sleigh
To drop them off on Christmas Day
And I'll say
Howdy Ho!
Kyle: Mr. Hankey, shhhh! I'll get in trouble!
Mr. Hankey: Folks will gather 'round the fire
Sing a song, join the choir
Pretty soon they'll all retire
And I'll say
Howdy Ho!
Gerald: Kyle, what are you doing in there?
Kyle: Nothing!
Gerald: Open this door!
Mr. Hankey: I hope that Santa comes real soon
And brings a-
Gerald: Kyle!?!
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
Swiss Colony Beef Log
by Eric Cartman
Stockings are hung on the chimney,
And the presents are under the tree,
And mama's in the kitchen
Making some herbal tea.
Windows are covered with frost
And the candles are all alight,
But as I wander through this quiet house,
Something just doesn't seem right.
You see, every year, the neighbors bring us
A Swiss Colony Beef Log.
But the neighbors aren't around (around, around)
There's no Beef Log to be found this year.
(No Beef Log)
Christmas isn't Christmas
Without a Swiss Colony Beef Log.
Without those cheeses and meats
I don't think I can get along.
Mother tries to comfort me;
She says "Here, Son, have some eggnog."
I f*cking hate eggnog, seriously.
But what do I see
Underneath the tree?
Grandma got a Swiss Colony Beef Log just for me!
Ah, ah, ah, Baby!!
Swiss Colony Beef Log, baby!
That's what Christmas is all about!
My prayer has finally come in a Beef Log baby!
Makes a little boy scream and shout!
Deck the halls with boughs of Swiss Colony!
Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la!
Sweet!
And the presents are under the tree,
And mama's in the kitchen
Making some herbal tea.
Windows are covered with frost
And the candles are all alight,
But as I wander through this quiet house,
Something just doesn't seem right.
You see, every year, the neighbors bring us
A Swiss Colony Beef Log.
But the neighbors aren't around (around, around)
There's no Beef Log to be found this year.
(No Beef Log)
Christmas isn't Christmas
Without a Swiss Colony Beef Log.
Without those cheeses and meats
I don't think I can get along.
Mother tries to comfort me;
She says "Here, Son, have some eggnog."
I f*cking hate eggnog, seriously.
But what do I see
Underneath the tree?
Grandma got a Swiss Colony Beef Log just for me!
Ah, ah, ah, Baby!!
Swiss Colony Beef Log, baby!
That's what Christmas is all about!
My prayer has finally come in a Beef Log baby!
Makes a little boy scream and shout!
Deck the halls with boughs of Swiss Colony!
Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la!
Sweet!
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
by South Park Childrens Choir
(Choir) Hark! The Herald angels sing
Glory to the newborn king.
Peace on earth and mercy mild,
God and sinners reconciled.
Joyful all ye nations rise.
Join the triumph of the skies.
Hark! The Herald angels sing,
Glory to the newborn king.
Glory to the newborn king.
Peace on earth and mercy mild,
God and sinners reconciled.
Joyful all ye nations rise.
Join the triumph of the skies.
Hark! The Herald angels sing,
Glory to the newborn king.
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel
by The Broflofskis
[ Featuring Eric Cartman, Stan Marsh ]
Kyle: OK, Ike, you're my little brother, so I have to show you how to celebrate Hanukkah.
This is called a dreidel. You spin it and see where it lands, and you sing this song:
I have a little dreidel,
I made it out of clay.
And when it's dry and ready,
With dreidel I shall play.
Oh Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel,
I made you out of clay,
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel,
With dreidel I shall play.
Now you try it, Ike. Just spin it with your fingers, like this.
Ike: H-I-J-K-L-O-P
Um, like, this song, go all the way.
Play, came down the rain and wash the spider out.
Cartman: Hey, what the hell are you doing?
Oh, hey, Cartman. We're playing dreidel. You wanna try?
Cartman: Sure.
Here's a little dreidel that's small and made of clay
But I'm not gonna play with it, 'cause dreidel's f*ckin' gay.
Kyle: Hey, shut your mouth, fatass.
Cartman: Jews.....play stupid games.
Jews, that's why they're lame.
Jews.....play stupid games.
Jews, that's why they're lame.
Kyle: Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel,
I made you out of clay.
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel,
With dreidel I shall play.
Stan: What's going on? Oh, it's that Hannukah thing.
Cartman: It's so amazing. You spin this thing on the ground and it goes round and round. I could watch it all day.
Stan: Let me try.
I'll try to make it spin.
It fell. I'll try again.
I'll try to make it spin.
It fell. I'll try again.
I'll try to make it spin.
It fell. I'll try again.
I'll try to make it spin.
It fell. I'll try again.
Kyle: Oh, Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel,
I made you out of clay,
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel,
With dreidel I shall play.
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel,
With dreidel I shall play.
Cartman: Jews.....play stupid games.
Jews, that's why they're lame.
Jews.....play stupid games.
Jews, that's why they're lame.
Sheila: Hello, boys.
Kyle: Hi, Mom.
Sheila: Oh, how precious! You boys are all playing dreidel.
Now you know that dreidel is a time-honored tradition for the Hebrew people.
Cartman: Yes, we know, Ms. Broslovski, It's so very interesting.
Sheila: Now when you learn to make to make a dreidel spin,
You'll know our people always win. (Keep spinning.)
L
Earn to make to make a dreidel spin,
You'll know our people always win.
Cartman: Jews.....play stupid games.
Jews, that's why they're lame.
Kyle: Oh, hi, Dad!
Gerald: Hello, everybody. Say, can I join in?
Kyle: Sure!
I have a little dreidel,
I made it out of clay.
And when it's dry and ready,
With dreidel I shall Everybody!
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel,
I made you out of clay,
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel,
With dreidel I shall play.
Sheila: Now when you learn to make to make a dreidel spin,
You'll know our people always win. (Keep spinning.)
Learn to make to make a dreidel spin,
You'll know our people always win.
Stan: I'll try to make it spin.
It fell. I'll try again.
I'll try to make it spin.
It fell. I'll try again.
Cartman: Jews.....play stupid games.
Jews, that's why they're lame.
Gerald: Courtney Cox, I love you.
You're so hot on that show.
Courtney Cox, I love you.
You're so hot on that show.
Courtney Cox, I love you.
You're so hot on that show.
Courtney Cox, I huh?
Kyle: Dad, Dad....we're singing about a dreidel
Gerald: Oh, sorry.
Sheila: We'll talk about this later, Gerald.
Kyle: Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel,
I made you out of clay.
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel,
With dreidel I shall play.
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel,
I made you out of clay.
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel,
With dreidel I shall play.
Cartman: Jews.....play stupid games.
Jews, that's why they're lame.
Jews.....play stupid games.
Jews, that's why they're lame.
Stan: I'll try to make it spin.
It fell. I'll try again.
I'll try to make it spin.
It fell. I'll try again.
Gerald: Courtney Cox, I love you.
You're so hot on that show.
Courtney Cox, I love you.
You're so hot on that show.
Sheila: Now when you learn to make to make a dreidel spin,
You'll know our people always win. (Keep spinning.)
Now when you learn to make to make a dreidel spin,
You'll know our people always win.
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
The Most Offensive Song Ever
by Kenny McCormick
[ Featuring Mr. Hankey ]
Mr. Hankey: Howdy Ho!
The Virgin Mary was sleeping when Angel Gabriel appeared,
He said, "You are to be the virgin mother"
And Mary thought that was weird.
Kenny: So he sat (Mmmmmppppppppph)
(Mmmmmppppppppph)
Mr. Hankey: But then Gabriel said to Mary,
"My child, have no fear."
Kenny: For you can suck all the dick you want...
Together: And still be a virgin, Mary!
Kenny: You can suck all the dick you want...
Mr. Hankey: And still not be considered flawed.
Kenny: I know you'd like to play,
And suck right through the night,
Together: You're still a virgin in the eyes of God.
Mr. Hankey: There was no room at the inn
When Mary and Joseph did arrive
They were so very tired you see
Kenny: (Mmmmmppppppppph)
Mr. Hankey: She said she had no money
Kenny: And she needed a place to sleep
Mr. Hankey: Gabriel appeared to Mary and told her not to weep
Kenny: Because, you can suck all the dick you want...
And still be a virgin, Mary!
Kenny: You can suck all the dick you want...
Mr. Hankey: And still be the mother of Christ.
Together: If there's no room at the inn
Its not considered a sin
Kenny: So suck my dick and get away from me.
[Laughs]
Mr. Hankey: That's right!
And three wise men did appear
Bearing gifts of myrrh and such
They said that they had followed a star
And missed a woman's touch
Kenny: (Mmmmmppppppppph)
Mr. Hankey: But again Gabriel appeared to her and this is what he said
Kenny: You can suck all the dick you want...
Together: And still be a virgin, Mary!
Kenny: You can suck all the dick you want...
Mr. Hankey: Every one in the nation.
Kenny: Fellatio ain't no sin
So have a dildo three miles in
Mr. Hankey: And you'll still be a virgin
Kenny: To everyone gone down on Christmas.
Kenny: You can suck all the dick you want...
Together: And still be a virgin, Mary!
Kenny: You can take it from the ox and the lamb...
Mr. Hankey: And even the little drummer boy.
Folks will remember your name quick.
Kenny: For sucking the biggest dick.
Together: Because sucking dick bring peace on Earth and joy!
Kenny: Because sucking dick...
Mr. Hankey: ..bring peace on Earth and joy!
Kenny: You can suck my dick!
[Laughter]
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
We Three Kings
by Mr Ose
Mr. Ose (Japanese Words):
We three king of orient are
Bearing gift we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain,
Following yonder star.
O-o-o-o-oh
Star of wonder, star of light,
Star of royal beauty bright,
Westward leading, still proceeding,
Guide us to thy perfect light.
We three king of orient are
Bearing gift we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain,
Following yonder star.
O-o-o-o-oh
Star of wonder, star of light,
Star of royal beauty bright,
Westward leading, still proceeding,
Guide us to thy perfect light.
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
by Mr Hankey
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on, our troubles will be out of sight
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the Yuletide gay
From now on, our troubles will be miles away
Here we are as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more
Through the years we all will be together
If the fates allow
So hang a shining star upon the highest bough
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on, our troubles will be out of sight
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the Yuletide gay
From now on, our troubles will be miles away
Here we are as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more
Through the years we all will be together
If the fates allow
So hang a shining star upon the highest bough
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now
Writer: Hugh Martin, Ralph Blane
Copyright: Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Copyright: Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
"Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics" is the fifteenth episode of the third season of the animated television series South Park and the 46th episode of the series overall.
An album of the same name consisting of versions of songs from the show as well as a number of additional songs was released the week prior to the episode's original air date, December 1, 1999.
-Wikipedia
Genre(s):
Soundtrack An album of the same name consisting of versions of songs from the show as well as a number of additional songs was released the week prior to the episode's original air date, December 1, 1999.
-Wikipedia
Length: 36:34
Released: November 23rd, 1999
Year: 1999