Mosh Radio - Closure Lyrics

I got a lot I wanna say
A lotta things on my mind that just ain't what they used to be
I feel I saw you just the other day
But I never worked up the courage to say the things I gotta say
I guess I'll start with an apology
I'm sorry I couldn't be the me you used to see
That you hold disdain for me
That when everything was said and done you hated me
And I'm sorry that I couldn't possibly have made you be
More of a twisted bitch, you reveled in my misery
When everything you did to me, was purely contradictory
And I'm sorry that I couldn't be stalwart with my injuries
I guess that was your victory, but now that's ancient history
I hate that I still wonder if you think of me
You said that over time this would get easy
But after all these years I still feel queasy
If you had the chance, would you free me
Each and every little bit of this I hate
You're like an itch I cannot scratch inside my brain
I wish we could've found a way to work it out
But after all we did, I get it a bitch don't change
And now I gotta find a way to satiate this pain
Suffocate the flame and put it out with rage
Kill a little piece of me and see if I'm the same
Now that you'll never come around again

It's closure that I'm after, but the wounds won't heal
Every echo of our past is a scar I feel
In the darkness of my mind where your memory sleeps
I search for peace, but it's buried deep
It's closure that I need but it slips away
In the silence of the night I still hear you say
That you cannot stay and just need some change
Then you walked away, and left me with my pain

I know I'm sounding pretty conflicted
It's because I wanna hate you but you played the victim
I guess it doesn't matter now
I doubt anything you do will ever satisfy you anyhow
It's funny how it all worked out
Better that I never got a chance to change your mind
Or even say goodbye
I guess that's something I can rectify in this rhyme
But still I wonder, late at night
If you're haunted by the past and the endless fights
If the memories of us linger in your mind
Or if you buried them deep, left them all behind
I'm sorry that I couldn't see the warning signs
That I couldn't read the lies hidden between the lines
I hate that I still care, enough to bring tears to my eyes
I try to move on with my life
But you're the thorn forever in my side
Each and every sleepless night I curse your name
You're the ghost that haunts my thoughts, drives me insane
I wish I could erase the past, just hit delete
But every time I try, it's like I face defeat
So now I drown in anger, suffocate the pain
Bury every memory deep inside my brain
Kill a little piece of me and hope I'm sane
Now that you'll never come around again

It's closure that I'm after, but the wounds won't heal
Every echo of our past is a scar I feel
In the darkness of my mind, where your memory sleeps
I search for peace, but it's buried deep
It's Closure that I need, but it slips away
In the silence of the night, I still hear you say
That you cannot stay and you need some change
Then you walked away and I was never the same

I'm still searching for an answer, learning how to change
I know in all the pain you caused me I can find something to gain
In my search for closure, I crushed everything I feel
Now I'm replacing all the broken bricks with steel