M-Fap - Distress Lyrics

Yo, yo, yo I've come undone
I always thought I would be young
But aren't I still, why am I falling apart
Was this just how it was supposed to be right from the start
A wreck, a mess, half of a man
Barely able to crawl let alone stand
Forgive me if I spit on my own f*cking grave
I could never really able to truly sit and behave
Try to get me to chill at a funeral
Would require far more then a few f*cking pills
I wasn't really that bad of a kid
Ah f*ck that shit, I was f*cking retarded
Couldn't understand, couldn't belong
I was never really that f*ck strong
You could push me down, and I'd stay on the ground
Maybe that was my real f*cking crowd

Just another epitome of failure and distress
Nothing about me was even half the best
Walking down this street with a pasty complexion
No to mirrors seem to give me the same reflection
Not sure what or where I'm supposed to be
Can't tell if I am in pain or ectacy
I just wanna pop all the screws
Make reality old news
Don't try to intervene
I can't be stopped like Charlie Sheen

Been around the block
But they still say I can't talk
What do they know
About what I got to show
Just because I wasn't beaten
Doesn't mean I don't know pain
When you know where I've been
It's a whole new game
I've been here, I've been there, I've been everywhere
But it doesn't mean you gotta know
This my show
I'll open the curtain for you to stair
But then you're gonna have to prepare
If you wanna know my story I'll deliver
But it might make the meek of heart quiver
For things aren't always within the rational
We'll be getting into the supernatural
This is the story of insanity, a place that I gotta be
I don't know why I can't resist a new way
To make my mind twist on this broken day

Melting memorials, are you even listening
Distressing styles, what words are you missing
Ask for my info, and arrive to an insult
Lathered in bullshit my answers I'll coat
Wild and romantic, you can't quite contain this
All I can do is reach for attainment
Exploits of utter debasement
If only you know what it was exactly I meant
But this is such an oblique reference
I don't really want to wear any of this
On my artificial sleeve, so let this be
I gotta go live up to this faux prophecy
That seems to be in endlessly supply
Only way I can get through this is high
Choking down some purple liquid
So I can get the feels of the lyrically gifted
Unsatisfied, impulsively didactic
Not quite how I ever planned this
Just endlessly swallowed, by abandon
Maybe all I known is just a fiction?