CxseClxsed - in my mind Lyrics

(Been holdin' every tear back)
('Cause I can't move on from the past)
(And every time I look back at it)
(I know I can't go back to it)
(But I'm this state of mind now)
(Where I'm glad that you're not here)
('Cause my head was stuck in the clouds)
(And the vail was so sheer)
Even if it wasn't worth it
It always was
In my mind
It was like a curse and it's
Infecting my mind
Cause I'm all up in my head
And I'm trapped inside my mind
If I lose my head
I'll get lost in time
So when will you
Face the truth
Even if the memories have faded
And if it isn't all tainted
When will I
Get to trust you
Been holdin' every tear back
'Cause I can't move on from the past
And every time I look back at it
I know I can't go back to it
But I'm this state of mind now
Where I'm glad that you're not here
'Cause my head was stuck in the clouds
And the vail was so sheer
And, Now you're back, baby
Sayin' how much you miss me
But do you really miss me?
Or do you miss my body?
All I will say is
I hope that she knows where you've been
And if she knew about me than
I don't care if she loses her head
Like I did when you
Wouldn't take your meds
So when will you
Face the truth
Even if the memories have faded
And if it isn't all tainted
When will I
Get to trust you
Been holdin' every tear back
'Cause I can't move on from the past
Every time I look back at it
I know I can't go back to it
But I'm this state of mind now
Where I'm glad that you're not here
'Cause my head was stuck in the clouds
And the vail was so sheer
I couldn't get over it
And everytime I tried
It was like I got stuck
In a vortex that was pulling me in deeper, and deeper
I was left to wallow in my despair
But I said"f*ck it, I don't care"
So a message to anyone who is stuck in that endless loop
Don't lose yourself trying to what others want you to be
Because in the end you'll be left feeling hopeless
Just who you are, be who you authentically are