Corresponding Expression - Silent scream Lyrics

I see possibilities still I never do anything
Materialize my inner drive emptiness is all I find
Seems nothing is enough for me
No experience as a guide no talents gifted from the sky

Obsessed by determinism
I simulating restlessly
Until I find an end to my own history
To be inspired by it is my biggest wish
Searching for an essence by repeating this
I'm only feeling comfort alone
So silently I withdraw
In my freedom
I stay motionless and in confidence dissonance
I see my expression interacting
Not deterministic i'm just as a false original

I want to hide in my externalization
To abstract away my self-realization
I am not true and I feel ambivalence
This interaction have no empathy
Limiting myself to others
Bound by their understanding
I never show them my meaningless
So they can keep their sense of knowing me
No one sees my right through
Still I feel invisible
Only silence coming out of me
My faith is inevitable
There's no way around

I'm feeling empty and broken inside
A pressure on my chest
Heavy inhale
I feel my heart will break
Dizziness filters my sight
Soon there's a flash of black
I must stand still to not aggravate my internal bleeding
At nights I see objects in unreal proportions
I see myself becoming distant
While i'm feeling unpleasant
Afraid of what my senses can make me capable of

There's a contradiction for me to justify my life
I live out of something I despise
But I have nothing to eliminate and no threats
I always make sure that I stay close to death
But I never do never break through myself
That's who I am
Someone who diminish oneself into a nothingness

I use safety solutions to shield myself from feeling touch
And it's killing me
Killing me