Circus Zombie - Up Top Lyrics

I cannot live,l
I cannot die, until I know the reason why
I cannot speak
I cannot breathe, until I erase what's bothering me
To say your name, I took your life
I am the monster who killed his wife
What they don't know, they can't use
What would they do, if they were in my shoes

There's a bed that we made love
Some nights good, and some nights rough
There's a dress that you once wore
Sometimes sex seemed like a chore
What's that on the couch I see
A photograph of you and me
Standing by the church we unite
All that ended in a bloody fight

Who am I
What have I done
Why do gods call me the chosen one
Who are they who gave me this power
Where are they in my darkest hour
What is that and where is she now
I must find her someday somehow
My mind is blank, my memory gone
I can't decide what's right, what's wrong

I'm getting weaker, I cannot stand
To escape from hell is my only demand
Somehow, someway, I feel no trust
Like controlling my mind is his must
Suddenly, I think I can see
What is the power he has over me
She is not gone, she is not dead
All these stories are implanted in my head

Risen up
I have my freedom
Shut him up, it's my time to speak
Risen up
I have my freedom
Now the truth is what I seek
Risen up
I know what I must do
The quest is in my hand
Risen up
I search for you
It's time for pain to make a stand

So it's war you want
I'm ready to fight, I'm ready to die
Do not swear that you don't
I know it is a f*cking lie
I'm not going to take it anymore
It's sad
But I understand what you're doing this for
You want me to do your bidding
You want me to kill

Man, I'm not kidding. You best not sit still
There is no heaven, there is no hell
To keep me from the woman I love
There is no gate, there is no cell
No god, no man is strong enough
I tell you without a second thought
I learned from the lesson that you taught

I am in control of what I do
It started now, I'm controlling you
Hear me out, you better take heed
For this pain, I swear you will bleed
I'll search forever, no stone unturned
I'm a madman and that you have learned
She is my love, she is my life
She is my goddess, she was my wife

She may be chained by your hate
But my love will not separate
She is mine, she's not yours
I will look behind every door