Cilo - Drown Lyrics

I been lookin 4 love like i aint got it
Whole time that shit just been hiding in my pocket
U kno a chip on my shoulder
A chirp on a motorola
Since i was in a stroller
Had a shirt with a murder on it
My mama told me thats the way it is
14 she had me she was a kid wit a kid
Aint no baby sleep in a crib
When you couldnt find u a crib
Spillin on my bib
Family disappear to a bid
22 years n i dont understand what he did
I shed 2 tears i learned what abandonment is
Im both a man and a kid
I had to save n protect
I kno they aim for the head
I dont feel safe in the vest
Got my problems n paranoia
Addicted to pain
Family handed it down n now it stick to my name
It make it hard to see clear
Smoke on another level
Was fog in my vision but never foggy the bezel
Im juss a kid that neva learned to get settled
Playin wit fire i burned my hand on the kettle
Obsession wit the feeling that it gimme
We was moving reckless I moved my way to the city
Felt like i made it from family movin that whitney
But i couldnt move from the feelings that been within me
Shit that i had to learn to acknowledge
Take a look at my history n be honest
Around the time that i tried to drop out of college
Same time i was wishing somebody taught us
How to deal wit it
U kno the pain
Hear the crash out the windows it feel like rain

Are u here wit me?
Am i gettin thru are u hearin me?
And sometimes, sometimes
I really wish that u was there for me
Like do u still care for me?
Did u ever care for me?
Sometimes, sometimes
I really wish that u was there for me

I kno its hard to accept it
I been yung n neglected
Put that shit in perspective
Reason i need protection
Its a barrier around me
You aint gettin close
Either u gon bury me
Or drown me
Or leave me alone
Cant take the risk cus i felt the pain
N i kno its name
I wanna change
But im so ashamed
When i stay the same
This shit a cycle
Keep spinnin me
In a different lane
I say its u but i know the truth that its me to blame
What a cold game
Im cold mane
Like im from the 80s
I grew up in 97
With dreams of coppin mercedes
Or maybe a panamera
Needa come to terms wit the shit i see in the mirror
My history goin krazy
I change it all for my baby
Im wishin that u would save me

Are u here wit me?
Am i gettin thru are u hearin me?
And sometimes, sometimes
I really wish that u was there for me
Like do u still care for me?
Did u ever care for me?
Sometimes, sometimes
I really wish that u was there for me