Chxnge - Guilty Roses Lyrics

Bones never really phased me before
Now they affect me no more
They surrounded me like some walls
So I can't really feel appalled
Roses
I don't know if I could throw them
Caz I never was the closest
But it really hurt when you left
Now I keep you alive like roses
I don't know if I could hold them
Caz I never was the closest
But it f*cking hurt when you left
Got no one with whom to I could vent
And I still remember that ride home back on that train
Looking out the window, the snowfall felt more rain
Back around the time that I still felt some of that pain
And I still do, not the same way though
Caz I saw loss a lot last f*cking year no joke
With my mind telling me I shouldn't shed a tear or choke
It was my friend's wake and I almost got convinced not to go
But I told myself that it's okay now I know
So rest in peace to that soul, that beautiful soul
Time furthered you but I still saw you on my posts
And R.I.P. those who this year ain't show
Them exes, friends, and a whole lotta woes
Now here I am laying...
Roses
I don't know if I could throw them
Caz I never was the closest
But it really hurt when you left
Now I keep you alive like roses
I don't know if I could hold them
Caz I never was the closest
But it f*cking hurt when you left
Got no one with whom to I could vent
If my ex died right now could I say I loved her?
Could I go to her funeral and say it straight to her mother?
Could I give a hug to her sister, dad, and her brothers?
Could I let some tears out without feeling like I should cover?
Could I feel some pain without feeling so f*cking guilty?
Without feeling like they think that I just want some pity?
But what else could I feel with the way that I grew?
Ma and pa always covered saying that life's good
Why the f*ck are there standards to all our moods?
Why can't I fit in that pair of suede shoes?
Wouldn't you want your old friends to feel some way that you're gone?
Caz I do, caz I know that that that just be love
So here I am laying...
Roses
I don't know if I could throw them
Caz I never was the closest
But it really hurt when you left
Now I keep you alive like roses
I don't know if I could hold them
Caz I never was the closest
But it f*cking hurt when you left
Got no one with whom to I could vent