Carter Lee Franks - The Order of Ridge Porter Lyrics

Down The
I-49 to Texarkana
Headed on back from Mexico
Listening to some radio channel
Flying down the open road

Look around for whatever I can see
Lonely as can be
Talk the ear of my invisible friend
All the way over the Red River bend

Ooh, Ooh

Been driving now for way too long
Listening to the same damn song
Thought I was about to go dumb
When I saw this fellow holding up his thumb

Ooh, ooh

So I slowed down
And I said

Listen here buddy
What is it that you seek
He said, I'm traveling for Montgomery
Well that's a little out of my way, I replied
But I can get you as far as Jackson today

Ooh, ooh

Two hours passed, not a word was said
To be completely honest, I thought he might have gone to bed
Driving through the dead of the night
When all of a sudden this fellow starts babbling about his plight
Or something like that, I wasn't really paying attention at the time

Ooh, ooh
Woo

And then he said
I praise the storm god Algoleth
Spoken to us by a man named Ridge Porter
I have been a faithful follower for many years now Trying to save as many souls as I can
From the great storm that the great storm god Algoleth has prepared

You can join this organization for a fee of $50 a month
Covering you from all apocalyptic events
Including the great storm from the great storm god Algoleth

In order to be noticed and spared by the mighty storm god Algoleth
You must wear one of these official Order of Ridge Porter t-shirts
So the vengeful storm god knows that you know his good friend and confidant
Ridge Porter

Words can't really describe the look of shock, awe, and confusion upon my face at the time
But it looked a little something like this

And then I made this face
And then this face right here
And then this face
And that's pretty, yeah, that's how it looked

Well, needless to say, I lose $50 a month
And I can't wait to get my hands on one of those snazzy t-shirts
And it's worth it all because
$50 a month saved my soul