Larry The Cable Guy - Twisted Christmas Carols Lyrics

Twisted Christmas Carols



Get a job you bum bum bum bum

Money don't grow on trees you bum bum bum bum



Silent farts

Deadly farts

All was calm

Not for long



Oh come all ye little foreigners

Come and get them green cards

And learn some damn English

And then how to drive



I wish my mother-in-law would get hit by a car

I wish my mother-in-law would get hit by a car

I wish my mother-in-law would get hit by a car

So I wouldn't have to hear her.. bitch



Blue balls

Blue balls

It's dollar night at the titty club

See them dance on my pants

Soon it will be bathroom time



You better watch out

I think she's a guy

I ain't quite sure

But something ain't right

Janet Reno's coming to town



Donny the retard

Had an eight pount water head

He was five foot three

And he said to me

"My name's Donny!"



The first queer Santa Claus

Wore red leather chaps

And a pair of white shorty-shorts

That had a hole in the back



I pissed my pants

The toilet was just too far

I drunk too much damn beer

I tried to hold it in

But my bladder jsut gave in

And I pissed right through my drawers

Right through my wrangler drawers

I pissed, I pissed my wrangler drawers