Existing Video (MV)

Blank stares
I hand to my face and they wave just to ask if I'm there
Out of my trance and I lie to get them out of my hair
I chuckle and tell them that I'm just a little bit tired

Deep sigh
After I take a deep breath knowing that I've had long nights
All in the dark but my face and my thumb in a blue light
Forgetting that I have to wake up at a certain time

I say
"I'm okay"
"I'm good"
"I'm fine"
"I'm alright"
"I haven't died"
"It's coming along"
But then they ask me what's wrong

I don't know what's going on
Been this way for way too long
Don't know when my mind is gone
I'm sorry if I'm not as fun
But it's now at a point that I have nothing to think
I'm sad and I'm bored and I'm closer to the brink of not existing

Am I, am I, am I,
Am I patient
Why do I feel like I'm stuck in a cycle of waiting
I used to be bubbly but now I'm just slowly deflating
Walking behind all my dreams cause I'm tired of chasing

I said that I was cool but I'm not
What I meant was I wasn't doing hard
I said that I was good but I'm not
Not too great, not the best, not the top of my game
Oh it's such a shame
That I've been this way
For months every day
Will it go away?
All I can say is

I don't know what's going on
Been this way for way too long
Don't know when my mind is gone
I'm sorry if I'm not as fun
But it's now at a point that I have nothing to think
I'm sad and I'm bored and I'm closer to the brink of not existing

I don't know what's going on
Been this way for way too long
Don't know when my mind is gone
I'm sorry if I'm not as fun
But it's now at a point that I have nothing to think
I'm sad and I'm bored and I'm closer to the brink of not existing

I've been lying
I'm not doing fine
Something ain't right with
All these phony smiles
And I've
I've been trying
At fighting the good fight
Can't roll with all the punches
When I'm losing all my mind

I don't know what's going on
Been this way for way too long
Don't know when my mind is gone
I'm sorry if I'm not as fun
But it's now at a point that I have nothing to think
I'm sad and I'm bored and I'm closer to the brink of not existing

I don't know what's going on
Been this way for way too long
Don't know when my mind is gone
I'm sorry if I'm not as fun
But it's now at a point that I have nothing to think
I'm sad and I'm bored and I'm closer to the brink of not existing